Now and Then
by Cheria
Summary: No matter the time, he lives for his people.


**1. wringing stars out of zero**  
That their base is well-hidden by barriers allows the Ferines an undisturbed view of the sky surrounded by nature. Beyond the trees, stars dot the sky as darkness reigns, and some Ferines gather around to chat beneath them.

Spurred on by Maurits, Walter accompanies him to the group meeting, which is more reminiscent of a large family gathering than anything. While they sit together on the ground, he keeps his distance at the side to the railing with his arms folded.

"I see a Sunny-Side Up," says a girl, pointing. As far as Walter can tell, she's gesturing wildly at the sky - though, wait, there's something that faintly resembles an oval creature.

"Well," pipes up a boy, "you know what _I_see?" He stretches his arm up to such an extent that he might very well pop the joint out of the socket, then draws untraceable motions and declares, "I see the Merines!"

Walter tenses. Maurits nods at him, and he relaxes.

The girl cries, "What? How do you know what the Merines looks like?"

"He doesn't," a youth interjects, but the boy is unfazed.

"But she must be pretty. Look; isn't that what a Merines would look like?"

Against his better judgment, Walter looks up. Eventually, he sees something of a face, though he gets lost at where the hair supposedly starts and ends. Amidst the boy's explanation, he decides that he disagrees with his image of what "a Merines would look like."

The true Merines, he recalls, is young; but beautiful in a way that stars can do her no justice.

**2. your hour is a stone**  
When the brooch shatters against Stella Telmes' body, causing her to go limp - dead - Walter hangs his head in deference to her sacrifice. Though it is a tragedy for even the Merines to lose family, Stella has set a remarkable example for her fellow Ferines. They are all ready to give their lives to the just cause, and Stella is the almost perfect embodiment of that doctrine.

The rather big problem that niggles at the back of his mind is that she saved Orerines. But he will take a page from her and continue to do as he has, until the Merines can ascend and prevent the tragedy from repeating.

If the sister of the Merines would sacrifice herself, then as her guardian, no less should be expected of him.

**3. my moment is a flower**  
[redacted]

**4. days of mint and rain**  
When it rains, Walter ducks indoors while superstitious Ferines head out or sit by the window to pray. He seats himself on a chair before a table, his gaze far removed from the pouring weather, only looking back when someone enters.

"Do you not like the rain, Walter?" asks Maurits, who sits across him.

"It's just precipitate. It doesn't mean anything."

"The others seem to believe differently."

Walter catches a slight grin but makes no reaction.

"You are nothing if not dedicated to your duty," Maurits continues, "Surely a little rain won't do you harm?"

He'd be getting wet for nothing, and this apparently shows in his side-cast eyes. Maurits doesn't pursue the suggestion again, instead rising to head downstairs to "dry off and prepare for those who'll bring in water soon." Walter understands and follows.

By the time he lays down one sheet, a Ferines child runs inside and pounces onto bed, leaving a trail of water and dirt in his wake. The child looks up at him, wide-eyed, and asks if he'd like to go jump in the puddles before they disappear, but Walter regards him with a flat look before moving on to the next bed.

The child takes no offense, finding the sheets too comfortable to make a fuss, while Maurits watches them with a smile befitting an elderly chief.

**5. one heartbite after another**  
The Merines is playing chase with Senel. Senel passes him by, oblivious to his watch, as the Merines pursues, her cheeks puffed whilst she tries her hardest to breathe and keep up. Within a second, she has passed him; there isn't even a glint in her eyes to indicate that she noticed his existence.

When he enters Lumen Spring to fish her out and take her to her rightful place, she rises, alarmed. Senel pursues, and she turns away from him to her "brother," who receives a much warmer glance of fright.

The Merines looks at him with a mild look of terror when he enters through the balcony. The rest of the way, she's unconscious and unable to look him in the eyes, much less the face. Like this, she isn't afraid or wary of him for the first time.

Later, she looks at him with concern, but abandons him and Fenimore once he loses consciousness. He wakes to realize that she hadn't quite felt secure with him in the Waterways; enough that when he blundered, she took to protecting him instead.

At the Bridge, she pleads with him for his knowledge - anything that can preserve the life of her dying sister, who he firmly believes will perish no matter what they do. But she is looking at him this time, not Senel, and he cannot find it in his heart to refuse her. He tells her how, and for a moment, she looks happy at something he's done.

After that, the Merines rivals his previous stoicism. She glances at him more than ever, being the ones to occupy the throne room most moments, but he is uneasy beneath her gaze. For when he chances a glance, there is always something akin to doubt in those murky blue eyes.

She might be lost in her own eyes, picturing Senel standing there instead of him. He knows she still thinks about him.

It is always Senel.

Senel.

_Senel_.

**6. and i'm afraid it's you**  
As fate has decided to play kind, he and Maurits are not the sole survivors of the attack on their village.

To the contrary, there are quite a few, and he can place a name to each face - even to those who have sustained head wounds, causing them to cover up. He knows them all at heart, though he is not one to stride up and be too social.

Someone calls his name. His shoulders tense up.

"Walter!"

A part of him is hopeful, but it is illogical. Although the voice is female, the girl he hopes it to be doesn't know his name - his true name, perhaps; not his given name, which is insignificant next to their Relares marker. At the same time, he is apprehensive to think it might be her, for the village had utterly failed to secure her without exposing her to the dangers Orerines had posed. More than that, she had placed her faith in that boy . . .

Someone calls his name again, and he turns.

Any subconscious fear he might have held is erased when he sees an ordinary Ferines woman.

**7. we were water under the bridge**  
"I lost my son to them," Paula tells him one day, when he has returned from gathering information aboard the Legacy. She peers at his face; Walter appears disinterested, but his eye, cloudy with understanding, tells a different story. "He was so young . . . I wonder if he would have grown up to be as handsome as you."

He can't be the judge of that.

"Your son is with Nerifes now," Walter replies, his expression stern but soft.

Many a tale of perished Ferines have reached his ears since childhood, then his eyes in his early adolescence, but he always finds himself solemn upon hearing them. Most of the deaths come from the middle-aged and elderly, who had given their aged lives to spare those of their younger kin.

Paula defies the norm as the mother suffering the loss of her young son for years. She has had time to recover from the initial shock of the loss, but scars are not known to heal. At the very least, Walter knows that she isn't irrationally lost in grief: When she looks into his eyes, he knows she sees another Ferines boy. Not her son.

It is the greatest blessing she can do unto herself, before the Merines arrives.

Pursing her lips, Paula wrings her hands together.

"He is, isn't he?" despite herself, she smiles - bitterly. "I couldn't keep him safe. But without a doubt, Nerifes will . . . "

"It wasn't your fault."

"No, Walter. It wasn't my fault, but I cannot be innocent." She bows her head, then looks at him. Her eyes are partially lidded, and to Walter, she looks tireder than ever. "I lived. And he died alone."

She grits her teeth, hands clutching at the waist of her dress.

"Orerines," she hisses the word. "It was the Orerines who took him from me - who took everyone from us."

But soon . . .

Walter nods.

"The Merines will rise and deliver unto us hope. Until that time comes, keep praying."

**8. running away to a language no longer spoke**  
"Zis, wis, dis!"

Zero, one, two. Three fall.

He leaps into the air and thrusts his hands forward, unleashing his teriques: slaughter.

"ZelDelQues!"

Perspiration runs down his face, his fringe clinging to the skin of his cheek as he lands and bum rushes his nemesis. His nemesis, who are the Orerines - people of the land, so removed from their people of the water, ignorantly known as the Radiant.

Orerines forget history, and that is what has caused Relares to fade away from the modern tongue. Only Ferines are fluent in the old tongue, especially in its archaic form, but one difference of many between the two races. It's something he inadvertently takes pride in as a result, treasuring any fact that would split the repulsive humans from them.

His true name is Delques. Black Wings. A true name kept from Orerines and shared with Ferines. It is a mirror of himself, and only they can understand.

"FesQues - !"

But Orerines have never understood them in the first place.

**9. the perfect outline of a man**  
[redacted]

**10. wild, amoral, reckless, peaceful**  
_Even if it costs him his life, he will not allow them to approach the Merines._

He can hardly breathe, and every inch of his body is aching, screaming from the throbbing pain, fighting against him for his reckless display of bravery and idiotic dedication. But he cannot relent, not now, when they're so close to bringing about salvation and saving everyone from a lifetime of suffering and cruelty.

_You cannot. You cannot. I won't allow you._

He gasps, choking for breath.

_The Merines is mine to protect. Only I can protect her. Only me. Me. Me. Only me._

He gazes up, mustering up as much grief and hatred as his body will allow in his emotional state. He puts the last of his strength into a weak punch that never reaches its intended target.

_Not you. Not you. Not you. Notyounotyounotyounotyou_

* * *

_I wrote this almost two months ago for a friend late at night, using prompts from a community on LiveJournal. I only did ten out of, like, thirty-one because I was lazy. The third and ninth prompts were removed because they apply to an RP where I play Walter, so they didn't seem appropriate here. If you want to read them anyway, visit **logs** at **dreamwidth** for my writing community where the original was posted. That's all, folks!_


End file.
